Same Side as Me
by maggienhawk
Summary: "I'm not the same person I was before my mom was killed, and there is still a wall there, but if I've learned anything in the past few months, since we've been back together, it's that you've always been on the same side of that wall as me."


**Title: Same Side as Me  
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**Author: Maggienhawk  
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**Disclaimer: Oh, if they were mine...the things we could do...**

She heard a knock at her door, and glanced at her clock. Eleven fifty-seven.

Having a pretty good idea of who was on the other side of the door, she pulled it open. She couldn't decide if she was still annoyed by his unexpected visits, but a smiled graced her face as his face came into view.

"I know, I know. I should have called but…" he continued talking as he walked into her apartment, talking a mile a minute about their current case. She listened carefully, always amazed at how outlandish his theories started, but they always seemed to result in a solid lead.

She took the time to study him as he spoke. He had begun to look more like himself the past few months. When she first saw him after her shooting, she couldn't believe how tired he looked. Despite the persona he put on for his adoring fans, she could see the pain in his eyes every time he looked at another cover. Pain that she herself had caused. Now, he had that sparkle back in his eyes, and it had been getting stronger with every case they worked together.

"So?" His question startled her out of his thoughts. "What do you think?"

She panicked slightly, because she hadn't been paying attention to the details, but covered, "I think that it's too late tonight to try to get that surveillance footage, so it will have to wait until tomorrow."

She watched as his face fell slightly, and she kind of knew how he felt. She didn't want him to have to leave either.

Despite convincing him that she needed to close her mother's case before she could enter into any relationship, the more she worked with him, the more she was battling herself to maintain the status quo. She had come to enjoy almost every second she spent with him, and now that she knew how he felt about her, she appreciated the little things he did for her every day.

Who was she kidding? She loved him back.

He started to head to the door when she spoke up, "Want a glass of wine?"

He turned quickly, a confused smile on his face. "Sure," he said, dragging it out slightly. He walked back towards the kitchen island as she moved about her kitchen, grabbing a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine, before returning back to the island.

They were silent as she opened the bottle and poured the red wine into their glasses. She could feel him studying her every movement, analyzing the situation for the meaning. He finally caught her eye, and she flashed him one of her brilliant all out smiles as she handed him one of the glasses.

His hand lingered on hers as he grabbed the glass. "Thanks." He nodded his head slightly, enough to shift his hair into his eyes.

Saying nothing, she picked up her glass and the bottle and walked into the living room, curling up on the sofa. He followed, and as he entered the space, she could see him calculating the best place to sit.

She patted the cushion next to her with a small smirk on her face, and he smiled as he sat down and turned sideways to face her, one leg crossed under the other, his head leaning on his left arm on the back of the sofa.

A few moments passed as they sipped their wine, both content to continue the silence. She could feel him staring at her, so she brought her eyes to his. "It is creepy how often you stare at me."

He huffed out a small laugh. "Well, I'm just trying to figure out why the woman who always shoos me out of her apartment after I come over to spin wild, crazy theories, currently has me sitting on her couch with a glass of wine."

"Maybe I just wanted to have a drink with a good friend," she said as she raised her eyebrows.

"Then that is what you shall have." He relaxed further back into the sofa arm. "Oh! I forgot to tell you, Alexis made her decision. She's decided to finish her senior year here."

And with that small change of topic, they talked further into the night, her giving him advice about Alexis, laughing over the antics of Esposito and Ryan, bitching about Captain Gates, gossiping about Javi and Lanie, even throwing in stories from their past into the mix.

Eventually the bottle they had started was empty, and after gesturing towards her glass to see if she wanted more, she shook her head no. "I can't believe we killed _that_ bottle. I was only planning on having a glass. I have to work in…" she trailed off as she looked at the clock. Her eyes widened as she processed the time. Three twenty-three. "In the morning, which is only a few hours from now."

"I should apologize; I always forgot that normal people sleep at this time of night. I'm usually still up writing," he said as he got up and grabbed both the glasses and the bottle to take into the kitchen.

She got up and followed him, still reluctant to have him leave. "It's not a problem; I can't remember the last time I enjoyed talking with someone for that long." She felt the blush form on her cheeks and dipped her head to hide it.

"Well, I'll let you get some sleep." Again, she followed him as he made his way to the door. He turned, surprised to see her so close behind him. "I had a lot of fun tonight. We should do it again soon."

She just nodded, with a small smile on her face. "Good night."

"Good night," he said as he absently leaned over and gave her a kiss, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to do.

It took both of them a split second to realize what he had done. They pulled away quickly, her with a shocked expression, and him with a completely mortified one.

"I can't believe I just did that," he said as he rubbed his hand over his face.

Seeing how truly upset he was over the situation softened her shock, and she just started laughing. "It's late, and we've had wine…"

He grabbed her hand to stop her. "No. That's not why I did it. I've wanted to do that…" he sighed, "I've wanted to do that for a long time and I had such a nice time with you tonight…I'm so sorry."

"Rick," she pulled at the hand that was holding her to get him to look at her. She had to tell him. "Don't feel bad. I know…" she trailed off with a guilty look in her eyes.

He understood immediately and his eyes widened, "You know." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

"I remember. I remember everything. I've remembered it this whole time"

Her heart was pounding in her chest. She couldn't figure out if he was mad or happy or relieved or what from his facial expression. It was probably the most neutral expression she had ever seen on his face.

Eventually, he crinkled his forehead and dropped her hand, his eyes following. "Why didn't you say anything?" His eyes were sad and questioning; as if he thought she had been rejecting him this whole time.

She tried to fight the tears building up in her eyes, and she lost the battle as one slipped down her cheek. "Because I wasn't…Because I was lying to myself. I thought that I wasn't ready because of my mom's case, and I didn't want to mess this one up, you know? You have been the best thing that's happened to me, Rick, and I can't lose what we have. I just…can't."

When he didn't say anything, she continued, "I'm not the same person I was before my mom was killed, and there is still a wall there. But, if I've learned anything in the past few months, since we've been back together, it's that you've always been on the same side of that wall as me. You managed to vault right over it a long time ago."

She watched as he finally brought his eyes up to meet hers. "I'm just upset because you lied to me."

She closed her eyes. "I know…I…"

She was cut off as he reached up and cupped her cheek, bringing it in closer to his, and she was compelled to open her eyes and stare straight into his deep blue eyes. "But, I am glad that you know that bit of information."

She smiled as he brushed his lips gently over hers at first, before slowly deepening the kiss. It was slow and sensual, the complete opposite of what they both had expected their first real kiss to be.

He pulled away first, stopping with his lips millimeters from her, and they both opened their eyes at the same time. In that second, he could see it in her eyes. He knew that she felt the same way. He sighed happily as he pressed his lips to her in a chaste kiss and then rested his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

They stood there a few moments, just relishing the closeness of the other. Neither wanted to voice their feelings quite yet; It was still so new, so real all of a sudden.

Eventually she nudged his head, getting his attention. "I need sleep."

He nodded, "Yes, yes you do." He pulled her close for one last kiss, another slow, sensual torturous one, in her opinion. If he kept that up…

And then he pulled away and gave her a bright smile. "Until tomorrow, Kate."

She felt the hope swell in her heart. "Until tomorrow, Rick."


End file.
